It is common to believe that the roles of a father and a mother in raising a child are very different. The latter is necessarily caring, loving, comforting and helpful, while the father provides a sense of security, children experience many good emotions with him, and play. However, based on the insights of specialists and today’s practice, such thinking is not entirely correct.
“Statistically, a modern father spends three times more time with his child in avarage than last century father”
Agnieška Kašinska, founder of the Psychodemia – Academy of Well-Being and a family psychologist, states that the importance of a father’s role in a child’s life has recently begun to be discussed more and more.
“Psychologists are showing great interest in the role of a father in raising a child. In studies, this is often identified and measured as a father’s involvement in raising a child, which, it is estimated, has increased threefold since 1965 – this means that statistically, a modern father spends three times more time with his child than in the middle of the last century. From the role of the man as the breadwinner to an equal partnership, when the father can also change the child’s diapers, swing and feed him, because it is no longer just the mother’s business,” says the specialist.
When asked about what qualities a father develops in a child, the couples psychologist states that a father ensures a sense of security for the child: “When a child feels safe, he is not afraid of challenges, experimentation and relaxation, which, in turn, develops self-confidence, the ability to adapt to change and emotional stability – qualities important for emotional intelligence. Not being afraid to experiment is a very important component of cognitive intelligence, allowing a child to develop through trial and error, without fear of failure and learning to survive failure without great frustration.”
According to the specialist, psychological research confirms that greater father involvement in raising a child has a significant impact on the child’s overall well-being – from cognitive development, academic achievement to self-confidence and social skills.
A father is important to every child, just like a mother – if a child grows up without a father’s love and attention, according to the psychologist, he very often chooses one of the sides of the coin – either becomes a fighter or moves to the position of a victim, provided that the father’s place is not taken by some other family member, such as a grandfather or a close uncle.
“Sometimes children who grow up without a father are very independent, responsible, but do not know how to relax and are very self-critical. It is very difficult for such personalities to enjoy life and understand their own needs. Other possible consequences are irresponsibility, frivolity, inability to maintain stable relationships. It is difficult for such a child to complete tasks and take responsibility for their actions even as an adult,” says couples psychologist A. Kašinska.
Research has shown that the most emotionally healthy children are those whose parents share responsibilities equally – both mother and father, left alone, cope with the difficulties that arise, and a sad, injured child is attracted not only to the mother, but also to the father’s embrace.
The article was prepared by:
Agnieška Kašinska and Diana Gabriūnaitė