Most people imagine that treating overweight with a psychologist or psychotherapist takes decades. They are afraid of this process because they will have to go to the darkest corners of their past. “It is not so. We do not have to be angry with our parents in order to resolve childhood traumas.” – says family psychologist Agnieska Kasinska. “Studies show that eating disorders such as bulimia or anorexia are completely cured with the help of psychotherapy in 67 percent of cases.”
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We do not have to be angry with our parents in order to resolve childhood traumas.” – says family psychologist Agnieska Kasinska. “Studies show that eating disorders such as bulimia or anorexia are completely cured with the help of psychotherapy in 67 percent of cases.”
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How to distinguish simple overeating from eating disorders?
Constant overeating can develop into emotional eating, when food is perceived as an adaptation mechanism, a way to ensure emotional comfort. It can be an escape from stress, boredom, anxiety or pain. Such behavior becomes a habit. A person eats not because of hunger, but because of a certain emotional state.
The next stage is binge eating – a psychological disorder in which a person eats a lot of food very quickly and often does not even consciously realize or remember how much they have eaten. The behavior is no longer controlled, turning into compulsive behavior.
“So overeating, which occurs sometimes, is more defined by poor eating habits.” -says psychologist A. Kašinska.
What psychological problems lead to eating disorders?
Dr. Julie T. Anne distinguishes three main components:
1. Positive relationship with yourself
How do you accept yourself, with love, respect, care, importance? Self-acceptance begins in childhood and develops as you mature. If a child cries, the mother comes up, takes him in her arms, offers him a drink – it is recorded in the psyche, I am important, I am needed, I am loved, I am worthy of love, my needs are important. In adolescence, a girl’s friend didn’t invite her to a birthday party, the girl tells her dad, the dad listens, sympathizes, and doesn’t underestimate her emotions – the girl’s psyche records that my feelings are important and accepted, even if they are sad or angry. As a result, the child learns to recognize her emotions and direct them in the right direction, for example, to play with her dad and thus experience the emotions that have flooded in. But not to deny, hide, and ignore, then the accumulation begins inside, a subconscious escape from the discomfort happens. When it comes to eating disorders, such an escape can manifest itself through emotional eating. A person feels bad, for example, he failed to represent his boundaries, didn‘t say „no“, he is uncomfortable with such feelings, while eating can provide a way to forget and escape from such a feeling.
2. Healthy and effective connection with your emotions
The ability not only to notice your emotions, but also to recognize them. When a person understands what is happening to him, this is the first step in finding a solution. How can we solve something if we do not know what needs to be solved? The next step is knowing what to do with the emotions that arise, the ability to control them. Let’s say a person knows that when he feels unimportant, aggression appears in his behavior. Recognizing that aggression is a consequence of the feeling of an unimportantness, the next step would be learning to control aggression.
3. Interpersonal relationships, where is emotional intimacy and you allow yourself to be vulnerable
These are relationships where you can be yourself, first of all accept yourself as you are and be accepted as you are. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a huge luxury in modern society. If you are able to create such relationships, it means that you feel safe in them, you can be who you are and nothing will fall apart. It is the subconscious awareness that nothing will fall apart that is the most important thing here.
If any of the components is missing, this can become the cause of an eating disorder. The same consequences are also experienced by people after trauma. The main consequence of trauma is disconnection from the body and the ability to feel. Since the pain experienced is unbearable for the psyche and it does not have enough mechanisms to cope with it, the next coping mechanism is disconnection, i.e. disconnection from the senses. In the case of eating disorders, a person may not feel hunger or a feeling of fullness. He can learn what size portion should be sufficient, but the emotional and physical feeling of fullness does not come. A person limits the amount of food only according to the size of the portion, but not according to the internal feeling.
How helpful is psychotherapy for eating disorders?
Psychologist Agnieška Kašinska states that the first step is to restore the connection with oneself. During individual therapy sessions practical techniques are added that effectively activate the client’s ability to „switch on“ their body and senses. Practice and safe connection provides the client with the opportunity to develop new mechanisms, healthy habits that a person can use to create a healthy life. During therapy, we work with boundaries, rights and body sensations..
How you can help yourself?
“I suggest starting by making friends with your body,” says A. Kašinska, providing psychological counseling in Lithuania. Ask yourself what I feel, where I feel it, how I feel it? Let’s say you’re angry, where is that anger in your body? How does it feel? What would you like to do with that feeling? – then do it, whether it’s shouting it out, asking for a hug, or exhaling it. Such a practice will help you release emotions instead of storing them inside. Making friends with your body and knowing your needs is grown by grounding, balancing, and centering practices. These are meditative practices that are performed daily. I teach them to my clients in our therapy sessions live or online therapy. If a client comes late, in a hurry, completely out of balance, these practices work great to bring them back to themselves, to find themselves here and now.
What would you like to wish those who are experiencing difficulties with their diet?
“I will repeat someone’s words – we did not have a choice whether to experience trauma or not, but we do have a choice what to do with that experience. So our brain is neuroplastic and we can create new connections in neurons, such as those that reflect a healthy and happy person. The research and my personal practice confirms this.”
Psychologist Agnieška Kašinska