Before you start healing from narcissistic abuse it is important to recognize toxic relationship signs. Narcissists often use manipulative language, evoke guilt and destroy self-esteem. Being a therapist for relationship trauma, I am sharing the most common phrases the narcissistic partner is using:
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“The problem is you, not me”
The classic narcissist’s way of avoiding responsibility and shifting blame.“
1. “You are too sensitive”
Used to dismiss your feelings and invalidate your emotions.
2. “You are imagining this”
A gaslighting tactic to make you doubt your perception of reality.
3. “I am the only one who really cares about you”
A way to isolate you from others and foster dependance.
4. “After all I have done for you…”
To guild-up you and make you feel indebted.
5. “You are just jealous of me”/
Projects the insecurity onto you and shifts the blame.
6. “Why can’t you take the joke?”
Minimizes hurtful remarks or behavior under the guide of humor.
7. “No one else would put up with you”
Undermines your self-esteem and convinces you to stay.
8. I didn’t mean it like that”
Deflects responsibility fort their words or actions.
9. “Everyone agrees with me”
Fabricates consensus to pressure you into agreement.
10. “You are the problem, not me”
Classic deflection to avoid accountability and shift blame.
These phrases are well known for persons who are on a way to emotional abuse recovery. They are often used in cycles of manipulation to control and destabilize their targets. During onsite therapy or online counseling for emotional abuse you are learning to recognize these patterns and setting boundaries which are necessary for protecting your mental health.